The Darkness.

Originally Posted On a Myspace Profile Blog -- March 31st, 2008.

* To all my friends who do not post on the Myspace Forums - Please keep in mind that this post was meant as a Forum Posting Thread - Thanks.*



Please bare with me, I’m still a little groggy from my nighttime Sinus/Allergy medication. so If i start to not make any sense, well its only because im still under the "influence" so to speak.

"A man delivered can never make his way in darkness I know tonight will end but I won’t give this life away I won’t give this life away AGAIN!

a man surrendered can never find his own forgiveness I know my life will end but I won’t give tonight away..I won’t give tonight away!" - Stone Sour "Cardiff"



"Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy." - Aristotle

"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self." - Aristotle

"A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist." - Stewart Alsop

"A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them." - Carl Jung

"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity." - Carl Jung

I know that I have talked about or at least touched about the idea of our dark nature, now when I say dark I don’t mean "evil" the word evil conjures up in my mind malicious intent. and I don’t think that is what the "Shadow self" is about. I believe the Shadow self is simply our other half of our human nature. It’s the less than savory attitudes and Thoughts and feelings that we like to push to the back of our minds and to try to forget. Its our cynical natures. Now some people would rather show off this side of our human condition, and there is nothing wrong with that - that is a valid expression as well. Still other’s like myself do our best to always project our best "game" face, to strive to operate in the realm of happiness and optimism. And of course there is nothing wrong with that expression either. Yet it seems to me that my Shadow Self is always right underneath the surface ready to rear its not so ugly - less than pretty head.

Our friend on the board, and my Twin Brother seperated by birth (lol, a little thing we got going between us.) Jason, Pinko, he has also touched on this subject in his writings of Citizen Rogue, and his different topics when he has used reference to the Matrix and the character of "Neo" and of the Agent known as Smith.

Where he differs from me is, as a Christian he believes that the bible and God, as per the writings of Paul the Apostle - say’s that we are to wrestle with this shadow self.

Ephesians 6:11-13

11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

 13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

I think there may be other passages that help relay this message, but like I said im still "under the influence" of my medication so my mind is a sea of haze right now. If there are any other passages that ellude to this, please Jason or another Christian feel free to post them.

Where I myself differ from this conclusion is; as a practitioner of Paganism - the Shadow Self is not something to be feared, It is not something that must be wrestled with on a daily basis. It is simply something that is a part of me. It is an natural to me as breathing, as natural to me as the Heart and the Lungs that live inside my body. We are not to let it control us, but at the same time we cannot ignore it either, it’s the balance we have to strive for - to balance our inner self - to balance our "light self" with our "shadow self".

Because just like a consuming inferno, fire purifies - and yet so can the Shadow Self if used properly. but also just like a fire if left continued to burn it will ultimately destroy every thing it touches.   The Shadow Self can be good for analyzing certain situations and life experiences and pick up certain impressions that our normal self may overlook in it’s brutal optimism.  But if left unattended it can lead to cynicism and a hate filled spirit.

Yet, as a person whenever I feel the Shadow Self start to take root, I can’t help but feel a little bit "dirty"...dirty in the not so good kind of way, because as a person that quite enjoys the sunlight, the beauty and the pleasure of life, the optimism - the Shadow self robs me of this experience if only for a few moments of time, and though I know it to be necessary, it weighs heavily upon my mind, like it is doing now - and Oh, how I pine once again to step out of the shadows and back into the light.

Now, hopefully you are all still reading, and have chosen to overlook my incessant ramblings - and the M-D’s have as well, and have taken pity upon me, because I had to set that up before asking my question.

My Question:

Why hath the Gods given us this "shadow Self"? This ability to be cynical, and to look at life under the veil of shadow? Why create these feelings that consume us? I know the answers to these questions already as they are locked within myself - so yes this is pretty rhetorical - and more so a vent, a rave - rather than honest intellectual inquiry - but still WHY? You may still answer if you will - and I hope that you will.



When I start to feeling this way, I tend to feel comfort in the last Carl Jung quote I posted up at the start of this article --- "Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity." --- I know that without the "bad" that I could not fully experience the "good" experiences, but still that does not always change the dirty feeling that I feel upon my soul.

I Just want to be Free! Its a conundrum that I face daily, I love the pleasures of this life, its grand exquisite pleasures, - great food, awesome drinks, the scent of a beautiful woman, her screams and throws of wild passion. Yes, I even like the feelings in this life that the "Shadow Self" brings. But I also, in the same breath; hate it so.  This is the nature of our existence that I can not quite understand.

Thank you for letting me rant and ramble.